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Oct 8th, by OMGchronicles. But if I were an unemployed man — regardless of age — would the same rules apply? Probably not although I imagine a certain amount of women would eagerly entangle themselves if he was hot; yes, we gals can be incredibly shallow, too. Unemployed, under-employed and low-income men are just not good dating or marriage material in the eyes of many women. It was actually easier without him. A few years ago, the book Smart Girls Marry Money: Earlier this summer, a study OK, funded by a credit report agency so I take it with a grain of salt indicated financial responsibility and financial compatibility was more important or just as important as career ambition, physical attraction and sex and intimacy, especially for women.

Among the interesting questions posed:. What happens when a man marries a woman who has the education and skills to earn more than him? The authors found evidence of both choices. But what if the woman stays in the labor force and does earn more than her spouse? How does this affect the marriage?

The findings here are striking. In such couples, surveys show, both wife and husband generally report being less happy about the marriage. Unemployed, under-employed and low-paid women are still dateable and marriage material, while guys are not. I think it depends on what the debt is. For example, my ex-husband is 50k in debt. That type of debt is NOT good and I would avoid him like the plague. But … if you presented him to me with that debt in the early stages of dating ….

I would not view him as marriage material. His income does NOT support that load and it also shows extreme carelessness. Now, take my debt as a public servant. I have one 5k credit card and an 80k student loan. When he told me wanted a divorce to pursue other women …. Did he have that before you married him, or was that a discovery after-the-fact? I never asked any former partner or husband about his debt.

Her exes 50K debt is on a car. Which debt do you think will have a greater return?????? A student loan is a far better investment. After reading all these responses I just wanted to say how sad it makes me feel that compassion is lacking to such a degree that so many refer to a gender as whores or lazy even going as far as convincing others to leave the ones they love because of their financial difficulties.

I do agree though that society has been try to change how we view men. We are always told to work until we die and if we are in debt we are failures. This is totally unrealistic when the cost of living was risen to such a point that it is impossible to get by on the average salary offered and are forced to go into debt to pay for basic expenses. Do not expect a fairy tale ending. In a world where love is rare and abusive people are everywhere why make it so hard to make relationships work.

Why place unreasonable expectations on others. Value someone by the effort they put in, the amount of heart they have and their trying to do the best they can in an impossible world. Money can not only buy love, but it can also buy happiness. I was a widow at 41 years old. My husband worked really hard in construction, but I had the education.

I made a lot more than him, and never discounted the hard work he did. My career is part of what makes me who I am. After dating a few men, I met a man who fell on pretty hard times.

Good man who loves his children. I helped him get a degree, supported him, and lsst month married him in a leap of faith. To men, be kind, considerate, respectful, and my motto is to treat everyone how you want to be treated. A kind word on a daily basis goes a long way. I am a low paid male and looking at all these websites has confirmed my worst fears! I did not realise or understand the importance of a good education and job until to late and after my last girlfriend dumpingrme because of money issues I am close to giving up all together.

Although she would never admit she left me because of money I know it was a huge factor, which is sad because she had her own house etc and I could of supported us on this low income as she earnt a very good amount of money. So this is it 30 single like normal and unable to get better work due to education mainly. I had one love but sjEd fast realised and I guess my replacement pointed out how little I earnt and now women over thd net dont wang to mnow men like myself.

I care for thr elderly by the way and I wish I was dead, thanks for showing all men in my position we are better off dead no matter how loving we are. I say this as a woman who makes more than the average income anyway. I am actually engaged to a man like you John. We both have the same degree, the problem is that he just has no luck finding a proper job. I have always been uneasy with this situation. On top of that he comes from a very poor background. He is a very good person, honest and loving.

Now that we are engaged, he has no dollar in his account for our wedding. But he has so much faith in turning his life around which is why I believe in him and gave him a chance. Anyone here thinking I might be making a mistake marrying him? Honestly, you are waaay too nice. Spending money on him is like mothering him.

Women like you anna are why guys would rather stay single. Clearly this lady respects her man. He he definitely appreciates that. If hes trying give him a chance.

Im on the verge of starting a relationship with a lady. Im quite broke because of an accident on a wrongly insured car and taking out a loan for an mba coupled with some health debts. Anna is right in a way, if a women keeps taking care of him regardless of how much faith he might have, he may never grow up.

It is long ago, so I do not know if this will be read but anyway. You see Anna, you are the very reason why the world is crap. Just making things black or white. The issue is why he is not solvable, because he is lazy?

Drinks, designer clothing, that is a problem.. One need to look at the priorities of the guy. Women like you will love for what is in the hands not what is in the heart and see how the man can contribute to the life of the couple independently of money. I let you know two things, first money can disappear overnight, a boss can go under if market conditions change for example ah yes, not a problem, you can then dump the guy you said I love you whatever… , meaning you not only love for the wrong reasons, it is actually not love, but those reasons can be very fleeting.

Also, dear, in the same way as you discard a penniless man, do not be surprised that a man will dump you when you start to be old and not so desirable.

You want a materialistic game, you have it, and please do not complain about it, because they are just your rules. Also, if you experience a bad bout of health at the menopause, well, do not be surprised your man leaves you thanks to my profession, I can tell you that many men leave for that reason , because actually he also has other things to do than mothering you with this problem, same if you get seriously sick.

And while I am there, once you have a saggy belly due to kids, well, do not be surprised and complain when your man is going for a nice chick behind your back. Lastly, know that men with this attractive leadership, managerial jobs, ambition are more likely to do what I mentioned above. Oh, and I am glad I always kept secret my reasonable not rich finances, I could have ended with someone like you.

Anna is spot on. I loved the hell out of my man and supported him financially like Marato is doing. Supposedly I was the love of his life. He left me suddenly for a woman who has no money or means to help financially. Do NOT marry him. I agree with Anna. Break off the engagement, take a few steps back. Unfortunately, I just ended a relationship where I was the spender giving him a chance too.

We moved in together right away. All it did was make me miserable, and enabled him to do nothing but enjoy my comfy home and chill in front of my TV all day while I busted my ass all day at work. This relationship lasted 4 months and though, unbelievably I still love this guy, I should have never shared a residence with him. I saw the warning signs early but ignored them. I am certain my generosity and good heart made me a weak and and easy target in his eyes. You have to make them EARN your love and respect.


Sexual Motivation in Women as a Function of Age

It is worth noting the four subfactors that did not show age-related changes: At an item level, it is interesting to note that for all women, the top two reasons for having sex related to pleasure, and 18 of the top 25 reasons pertained to either sexual pleasure or love and commitment. That love and commitment are primary motives for women having sex has been well documented in the literature [ 11 , 12 ] and is central to many evolutionary-based theories [ 13 ].

By contrast, having sex purely for pleasure is something that past research has commonly discussed as a significant motivator for men but not women [ 11 — 13 ]. This suggests that although older women tend to have more reasons for engaging in sex, the primary reasons for doing so differ little with age among premenopausal adult women. Within the lowest ranked goal attainment factor, the subfactors resources and social status were endorsed as representing the smallest proportions of sexual motivators for women of all age groups.

If one looks at the items constituting these subscales, the fact that they represent a small proportion of sexual events is not surprising. That said, it is important to keep in mind that although the items constituting these subfactors were endorsed at a low base rate, the nature of some of these items could lead to deleterious or unjust consequences.

Thus, although these subfactors ranked lowest of all the sexual motivators endorsed by women in our study, they should not be considered unimportant. In the present study, we replicated the factor structure reported by Meston and Buss [ 1 ] and noted comparably high reliability coefficients for both the primary factors and subfactors. With factor validation being extended to a wider age range of women, we propose that the item version of the YSEX?

Questionnaire may be useful for clinicians treating premenopausal women with sexual dysfunctions, particularly Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, which is innately linked to a motivation to have or not have sex. At an item level, the questionnaire could serve as a useful qualitative tool to help facilitate a dialog between treatment providers and female patients with self-reported sexual complaints.

That is, clinicians may acquire a better understanding of the reasons and associated affect of why women have sex, or the underlying functions served by sexual activity, which may be a critical first step toward understanding and altering problematic sexual patterns. A strength of the current study was the use of a geographically diverse North American sample that was diverse with regard to age, socioeconomic status SES , and sexual orientation. Several study limitations also warrant mention.

First, the number of stable traits that are known to be related to sexual decision making was not assessed, and these variables may have differed between age groups. These include personality factors such as perfectionism [ 14 ] and sensation seeking, religiosity [ 15 ], and sexual liberalism [ 16 ]. Second, health factors and levels of sexual function in either, or both, the women or her partner may also have differed between age groups and consequently moderated some of the study findings.

Also worth noting is the fact that both the original compilation of reasons for engaging in sex, and the documentation reported both here and by Meston and Buss [ 1 ] of the frequencies and proportion of sexual activity the motives represent were conducted solely on North American women. It has also been reported that the Internet population may have skewed demographic attributes e.

The results of the present investigation indicate that women aged 31—45 years have more motives for engaging in sexual intercourse compared with women aged 18—30 years, but the primary reasons for engaging in sex do not differ within this former age range. The current investigation serves as a starting point for future studies on sexual motivation in women.

Needed now are studies comparing sexual motives between premenopausal and postmenopausal women, and between sexually functional and dysfunctional women. With regard to the latter, information on motives for engaging in sex that differ between, for example, women with and without sexual desire concerns could have both diagnostic and treatment implications.

Of great value would be longitudinal research that monitors changes in sexual motivations as women age and pass through important life markers such as marriage, childbirth, and menopause.

Respondents indicate on a 5-point Likert scale the proportion that each of the items reflects their total sexual experiences. Scale anchors are 1 None of my sexual experiences, 2 A few of my sexual experiences, 3 Some of my sexual experiences, 4 Many of my sexual experiences, 5 All of my sexual experiences. Subfactor scores are computed by adding the scores of the individual items that comprise the subfactor.

Factor scores are computed by adding the scores of the items that comprise each of the subfactors under that specific factor. National Center for Biotechnology Information , U. Author manuscript; available in PMC Nov The publisher's final edited version of this article is available at J Sex Med. This article has been corrected. See J Sex Med. Aim This study aimed to examine potential differences in sexual motivation between three distinct age groups of premenopausal women. Results Women aged 31—45 years reported a higher proportion of engaging in sex compared with one or both of the younger age groups of women for nine of the 13 YSEX?

Conclusion Women aged 31—45 have more motives for engaging in sex than do women aged 18—30, but the primary reasons for engaging in sex do not differ within this age range. Introduction Recently, Meston and Buss [ 1 ] published a study that identified distinct reasons for why men and women engage in sexual intercourse.

Method Study Population, Subject Recruitment, and Data Collection A cross-sectional sample of female participants aged 18 years and older were recruited nationally via online classified advertisements e. Results Participant Characteristics Over the 17 months that the survey was active, women initiated the online survey. Factor Reliability Analyses To verify that the factors derived from Meston and Buss [ 1 ] were applicable to older populations, we first conducted a factor analyses of the sexual motives using the combined sample of women.

Item description Physical Goal attainment Emotional Insecurity 34 I wanted to experiment with new experiences. Open in a separate window. Questionnaire as reported in Meston and Buss [ 1 ]. Analyses of Age Differences in Sexual Motivation To analyze the differences in reasons for having sex across the age groups, a multivariate analysis of variance MANOVA was run for each individual primary factor using the respective subfactors as dependent variables and the three age groups 18—22, 23—30, 31—45 as independent factors.

Table 3 item YSEX? Item Level Analyses For descriptive purposes, we listed the top 25 reasons why women engaged in sex separately for each of the three age groups. Table 4 Top 25 reasons why women have sex stratified by age group.

I wanted to experience the physical pleasure. I wanted to show my affection to the person. I wanted to express my love for the person. I desired emotional closeness i. I wanted to achieve an orgasm. I wanted to feel connected to the person. I realized I was in love. I wanted the pure pleasure. It is exciting, adventurous. I wanted to increase the emotional bond. The person had an attractive face. It seemed like the natural next step in my relationship. I wanted the experience.

I wanted to intensify my relationship. The person had a desirable body. I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions. The opportunity presented itself. I wanted to celebrate a special occasion. I wanted to become one with another person. I Realized I was in love. Discussion The current study examined potential differences in sexual motivation between three age groups of premenopausal women with the YSEX? Conclusions The results of the present investigation indicate that women aged 31—45 years have more motives for engaging in sexual intercourse compared with women aged 18—30 years, but the primary reasons for engaging in sex do not differ within this former age range.

I was frustrated and needed relief. I wanted to release tension. I thought it would relax me. I am a sex addict. I thought it would make me feel healthy. I wanted to satisfy a compulsion. The person had beautiful eyes. The person smelled nice. I saw the person naked and could not resist. The person was a good dancer. The person was too physically attractive to resist. The person wore revealing clothes. Experience Seeking subfactor I was curious about sex.

I was curious about my sexual abilities. I wanted to experiment with new experiences. I wanted to see what all the fuss is about.

I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex with another person. I wanted to improve my sexual skills. I was curious about what the person was like in bed. I wanted to lose my inhibitions. I wanted to get the most out of life. I wanted to act out a fantasy. I wanted to see whether sex with a different partner would feel different or better.

I wanted to get a raise. I wanted to punish myself. I wanted to get a job. I wanted to get a promotion. I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease e. Someone offered me money to do it. I wanted to feel closer to God. I wanted to make money. I wanted to have a child.

I wanted to reproduce. It was an initiation rite to a club or organization. The person offered me drugs for doing it. I wanted to end the relationship. I wanted to be used or degraded.

Social Status subfactor I wanted to be popular. I wanted to enhance my reputation. I wanted to have more sex than my friends. I thought it would boost my social status. My friends pressured me into it. It was a favor to someone. I wanted to impress friends. I wanted to get back at my partner for having cheated on me. I was mad at my partner so I had sex with someone else.

I wanted to get even with someone. I wanted to even the score with a cheating partner. I wanted to make someone else jealous. I wanted to hurt an enemy. I wanted to get out of doing something. I wanted to burn calories. I wanted to keep warm. The person had taken me out for an expensive dinner. I wanted to get rid of a headache. I wanted to change the topic of conversation. I thought it would help me to fall asleep.

I wanted to become more focused on work—sexual thoughts are distracting. I wanted to get a favor from someone. I wanted to defy my parents. I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex. I wanted to get a partner to express love. I wanted to welcome someone home. I wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion. I wanted to feel powerful. I wanted to make myself feel better about myself. I wanted to boost my self-esteem. I wanted to feel attractive.

Weirder shows have happened. So, how would this play out in your life? If you had a pact with your spouse to have sex every 24 hours for a year. What would you want? Sex with same person, but have her initiate and "mix things up" so that she sort of has different sexual personas.

Sex with other people, because if it were really a "gift," it would mean variety in the most honest sense. Since climaxing is not a given for most women, the idea of novelty isn't usually all that appealing.

Ask any gal pal who is dating men: One woman summarized it, "If you have to 'work' to find good sex or mold your man into a good sexual partner, then the last thing you want to do is go find another clueless man to bed or one who anatomically just doesn't work for you.

A few simple rules that I've heard myself giving men over and over now for years and for those of you expecting me to tell you to buy the sex swing chair, you'll be disappointed:. Spontaneity isn't the answer. Don't grind up on her and whisper in her ear about what you want to do to her while she is washing the dishes.

She's scraping leftover meatloaf off the kids' plates and trying to figure out how to get 18 things done and still get to bed and have 7 hours of sleep before going to work tomorrow.

Now there are Don't buy her gimmicky sex toys or sadistic lingerie. Plus, to us it reeks of: The number one rule for both sexes in keeping things hot: Do groom just for each other. Yeah, but it's the truth. Man or woman, the one thing each yearns for and misses is that the other continues to care about their own appearance simply just for their partner.

Keep the manners you had when you started dating; they wane if you don't, and all of the sudden you find yourself being that couple in mismatched sweats, using the sleeve to wipe snot off your kid's nose in the mall.

I completely agree, Never ever marry or even date an American woman, random sex, sure why not if that is your thing, but never marry or bother to have a long term relationship with one. NOTES A Chaste Maid in Cheapside was composed in early ; it represents the culmination of Middleton's achievements in the genre of city comedy.. The quarto dates from There are numerous editions of this play, and I have consulted the following: 1) A.H. Bullen's of The Good Men Project recently pondered, what’s a man without money? That’s a good question. I’ve never been one to focus on money — my own or someone else’s — or see it as a path to happiness. Now that I’m at midlife, however, and helping to get two kids through college, hoping to retire [ ].