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I've taken a long sabbatical from the site because of an overdose of dealing with websites and people suffering from Dunning-Kruger Syndrome.
Seriously, 20 years of looking at badly designed websites takes its toll, but like John Wick, I'm back. Prepare to get shot in the face a la John Wick. Click picture for my feelings on the matter.
This year there's less emphasis on using Over-The-Top websites—mostly because I've separated them into their own document The 12 Worst Over-The-Top Websites of —and started discussing mobile mistakes along with more serious design flaws.
This shouldn't be a surprise as the world is seeing a quantifiable move from the desktop to mobile. The 20 Worst Websites of Here are 's websites that make you ask questions like, "WTF is going on here?
The 25 Worst Websites of A lot of these sites are going to end up on the Worst Websites of , which should be out Monday, January Worst Websites of The Contenders from July through December. These sites run the gamut from just a few tragic mistakes to the worst kind of Over-The-Top websites you see featured here in The Daily Sucker. My personal favorites are the WTF? The Contenders from January through June. You don't have to wait until the end of the year for our "Worst Websites of the Year" to feel good about your web design skills.
Worst Websites of These sites signify a new low in web design. They Should Know Better These websites are not your usual mom-and-pop operations. Some of the big ones: Beyond The Pale If Jesus saw these websites, he wouldn't weep. You have to have eyes that aren't burned out of your skull to be able to weep.
January to March Contenders. April to August Contenders. September to December Contenders. It's amazing how much garbage passes for web design. I started "awarding" the uncoveted "Worst Website of the Year" back in There have been way too many winners. I've gathered what I think are the biggest web design mistakes committed during the period to Yes, it is a little facetious to say these mistakes will be made in the year , but it's human nature to repeat your mistakes over and over.
But it's human nature to repeat your mistakes over and over. If you could take away one thought from the article, I would like it to be "Visitors to your web site don't care about your problems. They want you to solve their problems now. The Biggest Mistakes in Web Design This checklist from Web Pages That Suck is one of the most complete checklists out there. You don't have to spend thousands of dollars on seminars or spend hundreds of dollars on books to find out what's wrong with your web site.
I'm giving you the tools to do the job yourself. Just compare your site against two easy-to-use checklists and find out what you need to fix.
Web Design Checklist 1 — ways you're killing your site. Web Design Checklist 2 — 83 ways you're maiming your site. What do I do now to fix my site? What we clicked on in Checklist 1 — See mistakes others have made. Top 30 Web Design Mistakes — See the most "popular" mistakes. In describing my first book , Amazon. Winston Churchill once said, "All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from their mistakes. You will become stronger and better for it. But alas, I probably wouldn't have listened.
I have a BFA in Art and came from the print industry, so a large part of my directive was all about the design, all about "how it looks" and to heck with everything else. I'm just thankful I learned how wrong I was early on.
With great web design, it's easy to find the information you need. The Worst Websites of is a great place to start. Plenty of examples of bad web design. The Top Contenders from January through June will give you a sneak peek at what the worst websites of will look like.
The Daily Sucker provides current examples of bad web design Presented Daily. Mystery Meat Navigation gives an in-depth look at this insidious navigation scheme. The Worst Websites of I've taken a long sabbatical from the site because of an overdose of dealing with websites and people suffering from Dunning-Kruger Syndrome.
The 25 Worst Websites of We're in hell. The Contenders from July through December A lot of these sites are going to end up on the Worst Websites of , which should be out Monday, January January through June These sites run the gamut from just a few tragic mistakes to the worst kind of Over-The-Top websites you see featured here in The Daily Sucker. The Daily Sucker provides current examples of sucky web design techniques.
Go to the Daily Sucker. The Worst Websites of Glug. January to March Contenders Worst Websites of April to August Contenders Worst Websites of The Worst Websites of It's amazing how much garbage passes for web design. The Biggest Mistakes in Web Design I've gathered what I think are the biggest web design mistakes committed during the period to My two web design checklists will help your website not suck.
The Daily Sucker provides current examples of bad web design Presented Daily Mystery Meat Navigation gives an in-depth look at this insidious navigation scheme./p>
You're the goddamn devil! Oh ok, I'll just go fuck myself then. Is she coming this way? I wish I wasn't wearing this fucking shirt.
How you served five years under her, I don't know. You deserve a medal, or a holiday or at least a cuddle from somebody. Liz and I, we think the world of Sarah. We think she's great. But, and I'm just being honest here, every time she would come over to our house, she always acted, you know, like a Okay, okay, okay, pump the brakes. Dating Sarah is not like dating Liz, okay? Sarah is better than Liz! You really want to have this conversation? Do you really want to have this conversation?
We're not even blood! I have no qualms with sticking you! I will equalize you! I'm not a baby. Because you look like a gigantic baby.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean that at all. Actually, Peter, I wanted to tell you, I was listening to Sarah's iPod the other day, and amidst the interminable dross that's on that thing, I found one track that I quite liked.
So I checked what it was, and it was actually one of yours, and it kind of reminded me of a dark, gothic Neil Diamond. That's, like, exactly what I'm going for. It's so hard to say, because, like, I hate you in so many ways. I'm having a good time with Rachel and I want to see that through. Maybe you can have Rachel and Sarah,they got along alright at dinner.
I'm not that kind of guy and even if I was I don't think I have the sexual competency to pull that off. Yeah its a gift. Oh, the weather outside is weather You shall not pass! God put our mouths on our head for a reason. Look at my limo driver.
I'm going to have sex with her. Off to find the mythical clitoris! Can you stop doing that? Do you want to gag me? You brought a gag? So do you wanna gag me? Well, I kinda want to now. I can sell you some weed when I'm done. Oh, come on, Peter. I can see your vagina from here! I know, we met duing the surf lesson! Oh right, you're that guy who works for Kaiser Permanente! We had a really nice talk out on the water! Hey, how's it going? Hey, I'd like to grab some dinner, please.
Is your wife gonna meet you? No, I don't have a girlfriend, so Okay, so just one. Here's your wine list, your menu, come on. You want, like, a magazine or something? It's gonna be boring if you're just sitting by yourself. No, I'll be alright. When were you planning on telling me this? I just told you, then.
But telling me now isn't really the same as telling me. Well, look, you know, I've not told you I've got genital herpes, because it's not inflamed at the moment Oh fuck me, this is a small resort.
Alright so i came here, to give you my demo. I worship you and I just wanted to give you my demo. Just, take a listen, and I saw that guy! He was my waiter and I totally dismissed him like everybody else does And I totally, she was wrong cuz he's a major, major, major influence on me now That stupid English voice, was that, me?
Let me just say that if God was a city planner he would not put a playground next to a sewage system! I mean, I've heard that women do fake orgasms, but I've never seen it It really, deeply upset me. Peter you don't do anything of value. Go write some music, but instead you sit and write these bullshit songs. It's so self-loathing, go see a psychiatrist. Well go see one anyway. How long have you been out here? I don't know, I quit wearing a watch when I moved out here. That is so cool.
My cell phone has a clock so I don't need it. Oh, so its basically the same thing. So how old are you? I don't really believe in age and numbers but if you had to put a number on it, I would say. I have a question for you real quick. What did you think of my demo? I was gonna listen to that, but then, um, I just carried on living my life. I just went from six to midnight.
There's only one cure for pain like that. Well then let's just go surfing! Remember how we thought the killer masturbated before commiting his crimes?
Looks like where he's going he'll need to know how to masturbate. How are things going with the lady? She's complicated, like the Da Vinci Code, except harder to crack. You have Christ between your thighs Why won't anybody go snorkeling with me? What are you doing here? Came here to murder you. How did you know I was dating Sarah Marshall? Even Rachel told me. I heard about it from everybody. You gotta stop talking about it.
It's like "the Sopranos. Find a new show. I can see why Sarah likes you. No accounting for taste, I suppose, in her case, anyway. Well, she was with me for five years, so there you go. Yeah, you got four on me then, mate. You slept with Sarah a year ago?
I thought you knew! Peter, please, don't take it seriously. What the fuck, man! Don't get offended by that. You can't be so casual about this! This isn't Europe, okay? There are rules here! I had a girlfriend, right?
And Liam and Noel Gallagher both had it off with her, right in front of me, so that's similar. And that was a bit awkward, actually, so if you do wanna change hotels, I quite understand. I have sex with everybody. Let's go with the usual stuff, something dark and ominous.
Like losing your penis is a bad thing. Alright, you go on top though, cause I'm knackered. I can see your hoohah! Because he's a man like anyone else. He just wants to be loved. And every time he gets close to a human woman, he ends up smothering and killing her, which is a feeling I am familiar with. Why don't you press your feet up against the rock, and like shoot yourself off.
What, like a frog? I don't know Peter, just get off the fucking rock! Snuffleupagous fucks my shit up! Yeah well, I fucked the housekeeper the other day. What's up with that hat This is a nice hat. What member of the brat pack are you? You look like one of those guys suspected of killing JFK. I wanna stand up before I leave. I don't think you're ready, man. I'm ready to ride fucking giants, Koonu. I think you're ready.
Do you want to put some clothes on! Oh, would you like to pick out the outfit that you break up with me in! Oh, if they were Sean Jean sweatpants it would be no problem, but because they were Costco brand, it's the worst thing I could do. I need you to get hard, Pete.
I know what I'm supposed to do. Yeah, it's nice, but I think for like a week, tops. Any more than that and I know that I'd go crazy, because I think that Hawaii is a place to escape for people who can't deal with the real world.
Yeah, you know, there's so few personal shoppers and pet therapists. Gosh, it's such a hard life. Come on tour with me. I'll serenade you every night in front of thousands of women.
I didn't know you were going on tour. Yeah, I'm going in two weeks. It's like an 18 month tour, 43 countries, Infant Sorrow, and it's gonna be a massive tour. Yeah, I can't come cause I have a job. I'm a working actress. You're an unemployed actress. But I know my time is coming. So let's bow our heads But the pagan and the pious, they all sound the same, "Oh my god! But I know my time is coming, I can't keep my time from coming. Oh little baby, you are fragile and weak, so I will hold you til you fall asleep.
I look inside you and I see myself. You'll look inside me and you'll see yourself, as I look inside you and I see myself. And one day you will look me straight in my eyes and judge me for the things I've been in your life. I hope you love me when you know me well, because I look inside you and I see myself.
Long, long ago back when the ocean was our home , we crawled out of the sea, so eager to breathe. We looked to the sky, and to the limits of our minds, to understand why all things die, and how we came to be. Thought we knew all we'd need. But it's time to get off our knees and offer our hands up to the earth. And it's time, to find where we belong and see what it's worth.
Don't lay me down, I don't ever want to die. I've had too good a time, I really like it here. But all those prophets promised me, that if I could just believe, eternal life and peace would be waiting for me. But when I go, there will probably be no angels singing, no harps ringing, no pearly gates, nor devil's flames, just nothing nothing nothing nothing. Wouldn't it be grand to take some comfort in those same holy texts that pacify my friends?
Well, it wouldn't change the fact that all we know is we come and we go. So it goes, so it goes, so it goes. The river's wide, that I could not swim across it, so I convinced myself I'd walked up on the waves. The river's wide, that I could not swim across it, so I told everyone I'd walked up on the waves. Because I've never heard Jesus speak to me not in any way that I'd consider speaking but I bowed my head just the same. Though, I did find some tears when they played that song, but for the four right chords I will play along, I have always been that way.
It doesn't matter what the lyrics say. So who are we running from? Into stranger arms we run. Such a thorn in our side, when the devil's implied. Oh what have we done? So I tried and I tried to achieve belief. Though, now both my shoulders have started hurting from walking around under such a burden, to reconcile everything that we learn with everything that we were taught. But with all we know now, how can you say "Oh you've just got to take it all on faith" and "Don't think too much.
Just hush and pray, exactly as we've always done. Now I've got a baby girl. What am I supposed to tell her about you? Because her life shouldn't have to be like mine.
Sometimes I can't believe the things those preachers have the nerve to say to me, but maybe the things that I'd have to say to them are really just as bad. Because the only times I ever thought of suicide, I was waiting on the lord to direct my life, saying "give me one word and I'll put down the knife and I'll never pick it up again.
It's a beautiful thing. It's just you and me, exactly where we belong , and there's nothing inherently wrong with us. I was screaming out your name. I guess you never heard me, but I was screaming it for years, and I think I deserve a reason for why you've been so elusive. Now I've been thinking about my life and I can't believe that I have wasted so much time trying to be what everyone loves, the prodigal son returning.
Oh, what a sight, the prodigal son returning. If Jesus Christ ever reached down and touched my life, he certainly left no sign to let me know he had. And I wouldn't mind that he couldn't find the time, it's just that now my heart longs for things that probably don't exist.
But now I think I see this for what it is. Oh, my soul is tired, but I've got an itch to scratch, I've got a stone to throw, and I want to sink my teeth into your hollow bones. I've got a bone to pick, and I want to pick it clean! Oh, the prodigal son and his shameful disbelief. I want something better. I want something real. And this is the part where my exit starts, because I caught a glimpse of the father's heart. Do we want something we can't have? So come on, friends, count up your sins: We're not in love.
If you wanted love, you just should've spoken up. I had a life of the spirit, now I've got a hang up on death. But I know what I want, I want a taste of the flesh. I looked at you and I saw it. I saw the light in your eyes and it filled up the room, it settled and grew. I tried to make myself perfect. I tried to make myself strong. And I walked in straight lines, hands by my sides.
But you were the top of the mountain that I couldn't see from below, but I climbed towards the light, taking my time. We filled a book with what Jesus said, so we could all disagree on what he meant to say. Do you know better than me? I'll make a deal with Jesus Christ, speak just one word I can hear, prove your alive, and I'll believe you're here.
Well, I may as well just admit the truth. I have rejected holier spirits than you, it's no big deal, halelujah. And you could exist without it, because it stands to reason that if there's not a god to comfort you, then there's not a god to punish you.
Hey kids, tell them what you really think. This is your life, don't ignore it. This could be your only chance to repent so get of your knees and adore it, the responsibility of empathy. We are all where we belong. Time is on our side because it moves slow.
God was hanging out where ever god does his hanging out, when he looked down at us through the clouds and said "What have I done?! I didn't mean to be so abstract, so elusive, you see. But I don't see why you should believe that you needed me, because you all belong to the earth that I placed you on.
So lift up your heads, don't worry about death, you're all gonna be just fine. We all belong to the earth that we sprang up from.
So lift up your heads, don't worry about death, we're all gonna be just fine. You belong to me, and that's that no need for explaining. And I belong to you, and I've got nothing to complain about. I just want to see your smile in the morning. I just want to wake up next to you, love. Because you are the one, you know you're my only one. And I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you.
Oh, I'd probably die. I can't seem to take care of myself. You're a part of me the best part of me, darlin'. You're a part of me, so I try to be good. How do you do it? You're always on top Oh, come to me. Oh, you never leave my head, so let's never leave the bed.
At least, not for a while. The sun will be gold and the skies will be blue, when you're holding me, and I'm holding you. We'll pace ourselves until the sun steps over the hill. Because nothing's as good when you're not around and I go quietly out of my mind. Oh, I come undone. When the sun steps over the hill I'm only saying things you already know.
So close to perfect from your head to your toes, and I'm in love with you, body and soul. You know I am. You can be sure, I'll make you believe, I am all of a man that you'll need.
I've got what it takes, and my bones don't break. I'm gonna love you for the rest of my days. I carved a place out in my heart where you'll stay, and I will always keep you happy and safe. You know I will.
And when the sun steps over the hill When the sun goes down and the lights go off, well, you and I will frame up the scene. Do you want to know me forever? I do, I do. Do you want to love me forever? Will you hold my head above the water when it's rising so fast? I've never known any other that could make me feel so blessed.
Jezebel, I can hear you moaning in my head. As I toss and turn, you do the same thing in some new lovers bed, while I'm wishing I was dead. Did the heart that was so soft just turn to lead? It might be wrong, but I'm leaving. I'm gonna find me a wife, and it ain't hard to believe in love in a city of lights. It won't take long, because I'm leaving, I'm leaving tonight. Time will tell if I'm gonna make it through this little Hell, my prison cell.
The walls all seem to shrink and swell, in the apt. After all that I gave you, you still want to be so far away, so far away from me. Come back to me. Lift my head out of my hands, and I'm begging you to say, "Would you please take me home with you? And if you want, we can go out tonight and be alone. And if you want, we can stay in tonight, be at home, let the whole wide world just worry about its own.
I'm sure I'll give you plenty of reasons to leave but you won't. No, you won't leave me hanging. We spring from and return to the earth but in between, you will always belong to me. It's you and me, a nation of two.
Let's do what we please, let's love what we do. When the morning comes, we will wake, and the sun will kiss your beautiful face. And if you want to know the truth, I can say "You are my favorite part of every day. Just open up your arms to me, and don't make no vow you can't keep, and I'll lay my pride down at your feet.
Because neither the heavens nor the earth can equal what you're worth. I would fall apart if I didn't have your heart. I know you would too. We make our lives worth living when we love each other. Yeah, we can move the mountains with our love. You whisper you love me in my ear. When you tell me you love me, suddenly, I'm not scared. You've got me right where you want me and I will stay here, because when you tell me you love me, suddenly, I'm not scared. I made an expedition through a country that's not my own, crossed the mountains and swam the river, and found I was still alone.
And I came across the desert trying to make life a metaphor, but there was no one there to share my wisdom with, so I moved along.
I thought, "If you really want to love somebody, it will cost you more than you have. I can guarantee you that. So I turned to education, and sought understanding of human kind. Stood on the shoulders of prudent giants, just trying to glimpse the light. But the shadow is overwhelming, it buries good men beneath the sand, so I reached out for a savior and I found her hand.
If you really want to love somebody, it will cost you more than you have. I can guarantee you that it's worth every bit. I can guarantee you that! I can guarantee that there's nothing in this life that has ever felt so right. And there's nothing in this world except you and me. And there's no one in this life quite like the two of us. And there's no one in this world quite like the two of us. Take what you need but you better need all you take, because there's fire in the mountain, there's a ghost in the lake.
So when the devil comes calling, you'd better send him away, son. Get your ambitions all squared in your head, when you start feeling anxious you get out of your bed, because if your heart's full of dancing, you'd better dance til you're dead. You better stop and smell the roses. You better love the life you live, and you'd better take note of when it's killing you, because we all end up at the cemetery. So make way for the modern Adonis in me, as he screams to the clouds, "Oh when will I be complete?!?
So get to the city as fast as you can and find you a good woman to hold your dirty hands, because all the whores that you've had; they'll never make you a man. Well, I'll hold my breath when I take your hand to try and make the moment expand and wrap my head around the epic truth, that there is nothing I can do, I'll always be in love with you.
Though they say a man must be an island, it didn't take me long to realize that, my lady, you are like the ocean and the obvious is true, there is no me if there's no you. Lord, I'm on borrowed time the story of my life. Yeah, we're gonna make it work. Yeah, we're gonna make it last for a while. I know it happens all the time but it's our thing that we're doing. Just like the sun is going to rise up, our love keeps it moving. Seal my fate with a photograph, that our kids will look back on and laugh and they won't believe that we ever were young.
But right now I've got bags underneath my eyes, and it looks like they mean to stay this time because I've been tired since the second that I woke up. Lately I've been so terrified of everything that I plan to try, and as I carve my name deep into the earth I wonder why I do all the things I do when I just want to hang around with you. I can hold you up and I won't let you down. And we would be content. There will be food on the table and we will love our neighbors. Yeah, we will trust our neighbors.
It never makes a difference. Well, it rarely makes a difference. Oh Lord, I love you so, but you've been misrepresented. Although, your flock does grow under these false pretenses. It leaves me feeling cold. It leaves me feeling faithless because our scars both new and old, they never seem to shame us. So you can spend your days on your hands and knees, by evening time, I hope you've found some peace.
Salute my sisters; salute my brothers, out on the front line for the politics of others. Lord, bring them home with their ammunitions full. Lord, bring them home. Because when it's over, I'm not looking for rebirth. Just dress my bones up and lay them in the earth.
I need the rest. Oh lord, I need the rest. And I'm just waiting for the bells to start a' tolling, across the river where the water's overflowing. And maybe life is like the autumn trees, and I'm just one of many very mortal leaves. Just praying to the fates that we survive the freeze. But there's at least a hundred reasons why I should go to heaven when I die, so I'll just sit and patiently await my time. I don't know anything about it so I let it go.
Because when it's over I'm not looking for rebirth. Can it really be the same for everybody? And no one really can predict the rest; what's gonna happen to us after death. Sit me down and say you're having a baby. You caught me off of my guard. Like the time you smashed my thumb with a hammer and then Dad came running through the yard.
You had faith that even I could one day be made whole and I know it's a pain how I can act like I know everything. You and I could read the scriptures daily and we'd still probably never agree.
You say Joshua was a mighty leader, well, he's still an asshole to me. So I've come to realize that having such a tender heart, it's a curse as much as it's a blessing, right? The second that you came around, I knew that we would work because we were golden like southern California.
All my life, I've waited for a love that could not be ignored in good conscience, a love I could ascend to. So let's never let our day jobs get us down. Throw your hands up and throw all your inhibitions out. I don't really see the problem with it. I've been working hard, you see. I dirtied my hands on the necks of old identities, all the things I used to be. Because love is like the angry sea and I've been drowned and baptized it's the same to me, when they pull you underneath.
But pretty soon I'll be coming home, so just try and do your best to stay cool. We are old and new, we have been refined. We have held our tongues for the longest time. So hit them with everything that you have. Let them all go tumbling, tumbling. Oh, I always knew that you were something else. When will you turn around? The truth is that everybody that I love may or may not be happy soon but I wouldn't waste my time on loving someone else, if you don't love yourself.
I'm tired but I won't be sleeping. Stay in with me for the evening. We are something I believe in. Now, if I can just never let you down. I can hear our wedding bells ringing almost a year after the thing. I still hear the stereo playing loud, "Oh, Yoko" as we walked out. And when you're holding me tight, we both realize that we are just getting warmed up.
Here, it's just me and you, our nation of two. Because love is less what you say and more what you do and who you spend the rest of your life with. I'm gonna spend mine with you. Oh, lover, hear me call when I'm drowning in the 9 to 5 of this town. We're all just working to live but only you can comfort me. Well, hear me out. And we throw our hopes around, they never mean much.
My power was so powerful and new. So I'll chalk this up to all the stupid things that I've done, and all the stupid things that I'll do. Do you lie awake, and worry about the future? Because you're just as safe as you ever were.
We're running out of time. We're marching on but we are not alive. I wish you'd climb down off your cross and burn it. If it's not doing any good then we could use the wood that it provides us.
That you denied us. Is it such a sin to want to save our skin from the mess we've made Or was it arrogance? Oh, what's the difference? Can anybody tell the sick from the well?
If you're throwing in with these greedy men that pull all the strings and ruin everything Well, who wants to live forever in these dying lands with these dirty hands? So lift your hands up from your sides, rinse them both off with your pride, and let the world see what we're not. Because we have carved out our desires, and placed them in the hands of liars that will forget you when they want. And let there be no sacred lands. With one final song and dance, let our clean hands know the earth.
We'll build a culture, brave and strong, we won't rely on anyone, and all our souls will know their worth. Pave the way, we are modern men, and we have fought to exist. We have crawled from the water to the dry land, and our hands are the dirtiest. But I'm alive and the sun is shining in!
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