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You say he starts the fights Hey, but guess what? He keeps leaving YOU. You seem to yourself as being in the right, while you also yourself as being put out. You wouldn't feel this way if you didn't perceive yourself as the one holding more cards the one with something to offer the one with the upper hand, if I.
If you weren't the one with more, of what could he take advantage? Thing is, though he appear TO YOU to be the one with less power in the relationship the petulant one, the childish one, the one who can't handle his liquor HE's actually got all the power because you don't have any actual boundaries. Only flimsy, principle-based rules. And maybe he IS taking advantage, but guess what?
You invited the vampire in. You let him move in too, you let him ride for next to nothing; and you think that he should be grateful, which is why you set your ridiculous rules. And do you know why? Because you never told him the price of your generosity: Because he wouldn't have wanted the free ride if you told him that, right? Was that your motivation, or did you just not want to be alone? Control doesn't come with respect one won't result from the other, the two are basiy enemy-concepts.
That's where you are now. You've lost his respect. Which is just as well, considering I'm not sure you ever respected HIM, either. I wonder if you even respect yourself. So, you cannot have the upper hand. You have problems with control, codependency, and if I be so bold self-loathing tendencies. I also think that tourism in your part of the world is going to pick up because people are vacationing closer to home.
By the time arrives again, you be snug in your much comfier abode, and it be paid off. I know people who live on boats, and 35' is a nice size.
I don't know anyone who makes a living running the kind of charters you are contemplating; I know a lot of fishing charters. One guy I know who lives at our makes a ton of money pumping out other boats' holding tanks and taking the waste to the pumping station.
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I heard it from my mother when she screamed at me that I was a slut. When she blamed me, and screamed all sorts of horrible things that no should ever hear from her own mother. That same mother who decided to stay. Oh, we'd be alright. She'd keep him on a short leash. After a sleepless night, the came up. It must never be spoken of again. But her rage and silent glares never stopped, any more then the molestation did. It took my youngest brother 44 years to drink himself to death, but he finally pulled it off.
So dear, I'm not bulshitting you when I say I regret the pain you're in. I just have a far greater loyalty towards your, who has no voice in the decisions you're making that could very well destroy his life. Or leave him to grow up, a shell of the person he was meant to be, with a hole in his heart that's the shape of his father.
Honestly after reading all your responses, it just sounds like you need waaaaay better communication. Cuckoldry can be very complicated. There are a lot of emotions and feelings that get stirred up when you go this route. You'll need to reassure her on an ongoing basis that this is truly your heart's.
You'll need to let her know that she's the most beautiful and sexy women in your eyes and that no matter what happens you'll never stop loving for her. This should be evident in your action too. If you aren't already, start showing your appreciation for her in lots of different way. Think about ways to make her life easier and more pleasurable. Once you've established that baseline, you'll need to convince her that it is your dream for her to be sexually fulfilled in any way she sees fit.
You want to have a life and marriages that places no boundries on her sexual freedom. You want her to experience other men if that pleases her. And in doing so, you must convince her that this make you a very happy. I could go on for days, but what I've written here is essentially the essence of it.
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